The dirty 30

   So on the eve of my 30th birthday I have taken some time to reflect on the past 29 years of my life. Quite frankly I am surprised I'm still alive. I'm not even kidding. I had an abusive father, battled anorexia , depression and anxiety. The depression has taken over so bad in the past I've been suicidal. I still struggle with depression and anxiety, but I feel I have a better handle on it than I have before. I've loved hard and lost. I have the best boys that God handcrafted just for me to mother. They are literally my saving grace. My love for them gets me through. I am determined that these next 30 years will be less of a struggle the previous ones were. I'm determined to be more carefree and enjoy life. I've never fully enjoyed it before . I feel I've squandered so much time and time is something none of us get back. I've lived longer than others and I do consider myself blessed, but now I am going to start making the most of my time here. Here's to the next 30!