The Reason for the Season

  It wasn't our traditional, going to Church, then big family dinner type Easter. It was quite the opposite. Isaac was sick and we had to watch service online and not go to my friend Michelle's house for family dinner. It was different, but awesome all in the same.

  This Easter was a very emotional one for me. Being a parent just puts a new perspective to alot in life. One of the songs the band sang was accompanied by scenes from "The Passion".  I became extremely emotional when I saw Mary watch her son Jesus carry the cross to his death. Being a mom, I can't even stand to see my son sick. It breaks my heart. I could never imagine what Mary was feeling that day and it broke my heart.

  I heard one mom say it like this. Her son was 2 years old, stepped off the exam table at the doctor, and broke his femur. One of the most painful breaks you can have. He was put in 2 full leg {a post attached to each leg so he couldn't move} and body cast. When the casts came off he had to re learn how to walk and had many sores from the cast. She said if someone came to her and said , " We would like your son to go through that again , so his best friend does not have to go through it." She obviously said "NO!... I love his best friend, but I will not have my son hurt for another child" ....

  God did more than that for us. He sent his ONLY son to die a horrible death on a cross so we would not have to. I could never imagine putting my son through such a horrific event. It makes me so grateful that I don't have to go through or watch my son go through that.  He paid the ultimate price for us! Makes my love grow more and more everyday for my Savior :)
 Happy Easter to you all and pray you can experience the same joy and emotion for Jesus like I do.

My perfect baby

   Every parent {especially mommies} ALL say their baby is the BEST! Their baby is absolutely perfect. I know this to be true because I say it all the time. I have such a huge amount of love for my son it almost seems unreal! I love being  mommy!

  As I sat and wondered .. "How could every baby be perfect?". I had a thought one would say an epiphany :p. Every baby IS perfect for their parent. That baby was made for that parent. Therefore no one else could love that baby like you do. Then I thought.. what about adopted babies. Well my theory is that God knows who that baby is going to , so he makes it perfectly for that adoptive parent. So all in all my belief is that my baby is awesome and yours is too, cause God made them that way! :p

Divine Appointment

A divine appointment is ‘a meeting’ which was inspired and God led.

 So many times in life I ask the question I am sure many of us ask ourselves, " When is God going to use me? When is my life going to mean anything." And then when he does use us we get mad cause it wasn't MY timing. God's timing is NOT our timing. I know this, but don't know it when I am in the midst of my situation.

 I have been in NY these past several weeks to make the time pass until hubby returns home. When booking this trip, I had VERY selfish intentions in mind. This trip was going to be for ME. Not that being a little selfish is a bad thing sometimes. Little did I know, God had soooo many other plans for me in store. As soon as I got off the plane it was very apparent I wasn't here for me. I was NOT happy about it.
 Different situations and crisis would have played out very differently, had I not been here.  Several people said to me, " This would not have happened like this if you weren't here. " "You know it was God that had you be here at this time." I text my husband halfway through the trip saying " I feel like I have been working since I have been here." I still wasn't getting it. As my trip is coming to an end, I realize that I was here for other people and not me, and if God saved a life through me{ literally}. I'm ok with that, and I need to get over myself.

 I am not patting myself on the back. I say this to encourage everyone, that no matter where you are, God has a divine appointment for you. You don't have to be some mega church evangelist to be useful. I simply thought I was doing what every person would do. No. Not every person can do what you do. You are fearfully and wonderfully made with a specific purpose. You are a unique child of God.:) Seize your divine appointment and run with it :).

Addiction

 

 

 

Addiction : the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

 

I couldn't have said it better myself. The definition of addiction is self explanatory, but what it doesn't say is the trauma the people who are around the addict experience. (i.e. family and close friends) The guilt the family feels for not doing enough to prevent the consequences. The time and emotion that is drained from the individual trying to help and reason with the addict. It is hard process for the addict and those who love him. What I have come to realize, both working with and having addicts in my family, is you can't feel guilty. Whether they are addicted to drugs, alcohol, food, love. etc., it will suck the life out of you. Nothing will ever be good enough and they will always want more. So the question is , when is it enough. Every situation is different and an assessment of the situation is needed accordingly on a case by case basis. In the end you can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. You have control only over your actions, not the addicts. Boundaries have to be set. If you do not set boundaries you are at risk for becoming an addict to the addict. You can become addicted to making them better. Tough love is the best sometimes and a lot of it. Doing your best and then letting go. Letting go emotionally is probably the hardest thing anyone will ever have to do, but in the long run, it's the best thing. 

 

 No one  chooses to be born to, marry, or love someone who is an addict. You do have a choice on the action you take to protect yourself from becoming an addict yourself. In the end it's the addicts choice to live, or die.

Tat pain

I recently got a new tattoo added to the collection on my body. People always ask why do I ink my body. There are several reasons. 1) I LOVE art , and what better way than to have it on my body forever. 2) I love the pain. No I am not mentally ill. I'll go into detail later. 3) Every tattoo I have has special meaning to me.
   I usually go to get inked when I am going through something difficult. I can look at them and remember exactly where I was in my life and why I got it. The pain I go through when getting a tattoo puts a physical reminder on the emotional pain I am experiencing. Some of life's situations hurt alot sometimes. At the end though there is a work of art that is created. It's beautiful and is there to stay. This happens in every situation in my life. It hurts, it sucks, but in the end my artist {God} has created something so magnificent in my life to make all that pain worth it. I <3 tattoos. :) This particular one is my son's name with an anatomical heart because he is my heart. :)

9 Months

I have survived 9 months of Mommyhood!!!. I absolutely LOVE being a momma. I love all the help and advice I have been given. Some I just smile and nodd at, and some advice I really take to heart. One thing I have had to work on these past few months is being ok with accepting help and asking for help. It is not easy. Especially for me. I am very independent person with a can do attitude. Sometimes I can't do and I have had to come to grips with, that it's ok. I posted one time on my FB for someone to come get my laundry, because in my mind at the time I could not fathom doing it. My REALLY good friend Kristin without hesitation came over, picked it up and did it at her house. It was such a blessing, but I felt bad that someone else was doing my work. I HAD to get over it. Sometimes we just have to let God work through people to give us a hand on this journey of mommyhood. If someone offers me help..TAKE IT. If they didn't mean the offer they will never offer to you again.. lol. It does make life a little easier, I have to say :)

I LOVE MY BOOGie!!!!

Sassy my sissy

There has been alot going on lately and it has been emotionally trying. I am trying to keep my head up and move forward, but sometimes it's hard. Long story short my sister, who has lived with us, has moved back to NY. It's going to be alot different around here. Her smile, big personality and everyday presence is going to missed terribly. She is not only my sister but one of my friends. We have been through so much together and have grown closer because of it. 2011 has not started out very well, but I believe God has great things in store for both my sister and I. Even if it is in 2 separate states. Gotta love the military.

I Carry Your heart With Me

i carry your heart with me

(i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it

(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear no fate

(for you are my fate,my sweet)

i want no world

(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

E.E. Cummings 

Lord, give me the strength..

This week has been very trying. I have wrapped myself in God for strength to get through the pain and disappointment. This particular situation is draining me emotionally and physically like I have never been before. Sometimes you think people should be a certain way and when they are not it hurts. I just want it to be over with so I can move on. Everyday seems to be getting worse and worse. I thank God for the people He has strategically place around me for support. I asked for a better support system for 2011 and I have gotten it. If I didn't have these people around me supporting me, I would be in the nut house for sure.SO thank you. :) There is no worse feeling than feeling like you have nothing or no one to turn to.  I know God likes to restore so I am counting on that to happen, but until then, I wait. I wait on His timing, His plan and pray for strength until then.

Bring it on!

After having my husband home for 11 straight days he is back to work today and my sister {whom I have guardianship of} Is still visiting NY. So it is just me and the boog tonight. To top it off they are on 12 hour shifts. Way to ease back into the work schedule. That's the military for you. It's kind of a boring uneventful night, and I am really missing hubbs. I don't know what I am going to do when he goes away for 2 months for work. ugh! It is going to be hard on all of us. He is going to be missing Isaac's first birthday which really bums me out. I don't think the majority of America understands how much military members and their families sacrifice, and the events they miss out on to keep this country safe. With that said I am a superwoman and God gives me the strength everyday to get out of bed, take care of my family, support my husband and his work. So bring it on :0)

Feathers Feathers..EVERYWHERE

I got this urge to clean the house today from top to bottom. It was like a spring cleaning, but .. ya I know. It's not spring. It felt like spring. It was 65 degrees! So I wash our sheets and pillow cases. My husbands pillow has literally 5 pillow cases on it because it is a down pillow. I take all the cases off... and feathers went everywhere. I wish he would just throw the thing out, but it's his favorite pillow. :/ So what can I do. There were feathers LITERALLY all over the house. Highlarious. On a high note the house is clean :)

Hey there everyone! I entered Isaac in to a cutest Holiday Photo Contest. He needs votes!! :) You will need to "like" Studio 9 Photography's FB page. Then click on Photos and then go to the album that says Cutest Holiday Photo Contest. Click on Isaac D. and post a comment using the word VOTE! You may only vote one time.Thank you so much everyone ! I have posted the link below.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Studio-9-Photography/112784505418341#!/pages/Studio-9-Photography/112784505418341

Happy New Year !

 So I have revamped my blog and am going to do my best to maintain it, but as I am sure all you mommies out there know, it can be hard to find time sometimes. With that said, Happy 2011!

A New year and a new start! I am very excited to see what 2011 brings my family and I.
 This morning was very eventful. I woke up and our lab Jack was standing by his water bowl and I noticed it was empty. I fill it up and he started drinking. I was still half asleep, so I didn't realize how much or how fast he was drinking. He stood on my carpet.. not the hardwood floor , and proceeded to throw up. I couldn't deal with it, having not been feeling well to begin with. Called/ Screaaamed for my hero to come save me. My husband came in and without any hesitation cleaned the throw up. I took our 8 month old son Isaac into his room for some playtime since crawling in the living room was not an option at this point. I smelled something, which I assumed was the dog's wonderful gift to us on the living room floor. You know what they say when you assume, as my son crawled on his floor I noticed HIS gift to me allll the way up his back. Yes, it was a VERY messy diaper. When all was said and done, I had to sit back and laugh. My mom said it HAD to be good luck. We shall see :)